The doorbell rings and my heart skips a beat. You are here already? I thought you were going to call before you arrived. I am filled with gleeful anticipation as I skitter to the door. I fling it open to see you standing on my porch, your bearded face smiling, holding an overnight bag. My heart squeezes with delight as I take in the full sight of you. I usher you inside, close and lock the door, and immediately step toward you. It has been far too long. My excitement bubbles over as I long to have my body pressed up against yours and try to close the gap between us.
I am one step behind as your hands are immediately on my waist, pulling me to you while drawing me in for a kiss. I let out a sigh as I wrap my arms around your neck, leaning in. Then a gasp escapes me as your cold hands are under my shirt, exploring my body.
“Your hands are freezing!” I exclaim while laughing into the kiss.
“I know…I drove with the windows open,” he laughs as his hands continue to roam. They are not cold for long.
I show you the food I ordered for us, and you tell me you are hungry for something else. A devilish grin curls my lips as I turn to you, and the look in your eyes gives me pause. I see the wanting, the need, the longing, and it is matched by my own craving. The food goes cold while we reconnect with one another. Soon there is nothing between us except desire and time to explore.
I plop my feet in your lap because I know you want them. I look to see your face light up with delight and ecstasy immediately. I feel the scratch of your beard and warmth of your lips brush the top of my feet. The combination of rough and soft sends delicious shivers up my legs. Next, I feel your hands, soft and warm, enveloping my feet. Moving slowly and deliberately across my arches, heels, and then lightly over my toes. You take your time, exploring every single inch of my tootsies, admiring whatever nail polish I have on or the curve of my arches. You are generous with your affection. Your hands are strong but gentle and soft. It is the same with the rest of you, which is such an interesting dichotomy about you to process. It is one thing I appreciate most about you; your complexity and duality.
You’ve told me you need my toes in your life. You’ve told me how much you love them. I see it, I see it all over your face. I sincerely do not understand the fascination but enjoy giving something that elicits such pleasure. And I am surprised by my own reaction too. Even though I do not share the same love of my feet, I appreciate your appreciation of them. This simple, tender act brings me such unexpected pure joy. I am grateful for these small moments, as I let out a sigh of happiness.
My eyes flutter open and you are the first thought on my mind during the midnight hour. I don’t know how you have taken up residence so quickly, but the warmth I feel in my chest and the smile that curls my lips tell me this feels right. As I close my eyes, I splay out in bed to take up more space and am consumed with longing. I replay the last time we were together in my head and sigh as I begin to reminisce.
Your hands gently caressing my body.
Your strong arms wrapped around me.
Your lips, soft and warm first on my shoulder, then my neck, then my lips.
The feeling of safety in your arms.
Our bodies intertwined.
The delight of exploring you.
My desire welling up.
That exquisite feeling of release.
I felt sexy, wild, and uninhibited. Appreciated. Desired. Adored. Free and held at the same time. I don’t know where this is going or what may come of it, but I feel immensely grateful for the experience. If nothing else, you have shown me genuine care, attention, and affection. For someone who questioned if this was even possible any longer, I say thank you. You’ve restored hope in something I feared may have been lost.
And with that thought, I roll over and fall back asleep, happy.