Tag: #grateful

Letting Go

There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think of you. You are a constant companion in my heart and on my mind. Most days I send you love. I send you peace. I send you healing. I want you to know I am rooting for you every. single. day. Ultimately, I want what is best for you…even if it’s not with me.

Some days I tell you to fuck off. I’m not proud of those moments, but I am human and acknowledge my humanness. Those are the days it feels painful to hold this love in my heart. Those are the days my body aches to be physically close to you. To be held by you. To be wrapped up in your presence. Those are usually the days I cry. Those are the days I question whether it was real.

I will forever be grateful for our time together. I have told you before, and I will tell you time and time again: you were a gift from the Universe. I am certain of that. I believe it with every fiber of my being.

I am letting go to choose me. I am letting so I don’t make the same mistake as I did before; putting my life on hold. I am sad to let go of this ridiculous sense of hopefulness I have carried, but I know it is what I need to do. I am confident if we are supposed to be together in the future, you’ll find your way back to me.

And no matter what, please don’t forget I am rooting for you. Every. Single. Day.

I Am Ready

I am ready
For morning kisses and passionate evenings.
I am ready
For fun, laughter and adventures.
I am ready
For coffee and cuddles to start the day.
I am ready
For intimate conversations.
I am ready
To show up and be someone they can rely on.
I am ready
To be taken care of emotionally, physically and spiritually.
I am ready
To fulfill their deepest wishes and desires.
I am ready
To be with a partner I feel safe enough to be triggered by.
I am ready
To love freely, without expectation.
I am ready
To be truly seen, valued and appreciated.
I am ready
To have the tough conversations and do the healing work.
I am ready
For a love that chooses me, every single day.
I am ready
To love you for who you are.
I am ready.

Moonbathing

The moon, a silver crescent in the sky, beckons me onto the deck. I cannot ignore her call. As I open the door, I step into the silky darkness and the cold air is sharp in my nostrils. My feet are freezing against the frosty slats of wood but I grip my cup of coffee tighter to keep some warmth in my hands.

I can see the moon through the skeletal branches of the trees. I look up, taking in the sight of her exquisite silvery shape. This early in the morning, the neighborhood is silent. The birds have not yet begun to chirp their morning tunes. There is not a single sound of movement in the woods behind the house. I smile, incredibly grateful to savor this moment of such stillness. It is so rare for it to be this quiet where I am. I take a deep breath of chilly air, letting it fill my lungs, as the peacefulness envelops me.

I open my arms and absorb the moon’s shimmery beauty, allowing it to wash over me, as I stop to think about the generations of women before me. We are connected across space and time and I feel it in this moment. Under a beautiful moon. I think of the strong women in my life and send them love, knowing intuitively they will feel my offering.

I retreat back into the house when my feet start to feel like blocks of ice, and daylight is beginning to creep in. I utter a silent prayer of thanks for this sacred time and for all the blessings in my life.

Reconnecting

The doorbell rings and my heart skips a beat. You are here already? I thought you were going to call before you arrived. I am filled with gleeful anticipation as I skitter to the door. I fling it open to see you standing on my porch, your bearded face smiling, holding an overnight bag. My heart squeezes with delight as I take in the full sight of you. I usher you inside, close and lock the door, and immediately step toward you. It has been far too long. My excitement bubbles over as I long to have my body pressed up against yours and try to close the gap between us.

I am one step behind as your hands are immediately on my waist, pulling me to you while drawing me in for a kiss. I let out a sigh as I wrap my arms around your neck, leaning in. Then a gasp escapes me as your cold hands are under my shirt, exploring my body.

“Your hands are freezing!” I exclaim while laughing into the kiss.

“I know…I drove with the windows open,” he laughs as his hands continue to roam. They are not cold for long.

I show you the food I ordered for us, and you tell me you are hungry for something else. A devilish grin curls my lips as I turn to you, and the look in your eyes gives me pause. I see the wanting, the need, the longing, and it is matched by my own craving. The food goes cold while we reconnect with one another. Soon there is nothing between us except desire and time to explore.