I wrote last month about a uterine biopsy, which came back fine! But to my surprise, October turned out to be “biopsy month”, as I have now dubbed it. I had gone to the dermatologist for my annual skin check when he saw a mole on my upper arm that was concerning. PSA: Get your skin check people!

I trust this dermatologist because several years ago he removed a mole on the side of my boob that he thought was sus and when that biopsy came back, the cells were precancerous but the margins were clear. This meant he removed all the precancerous skin and the edges around the part did not have any abnormal cells. The biopsy results this time were a bit of a different story. I saw the note posted first in medical gibberish on the patient portal before I received a call from their office. I highly do not recommend googling search results because I went down a rabbit hole of panic and despair, only to freak myself out. It was not pretty.

The call came the next day. “Your biopsy results were benign but we need to do an excision surgery to remove an additional margin around the area.” Well shit! Surgery folks. A bigger hole in my skin plus stitches. Yay! I am relieved that it’s not full blown surgery in that I have to be put under general anesthesia. I also feel grateful that I have been going for regular skin check-ups and was able to catch this earlier rather than later.

In talking with my sister, we reflected on how compared to our parents, we are taking much better care of ourselves than they ever did. This makes me proud of myself and also reflects my commitment to my kiddo. I cannot be around a long time for her if I am not taking care of my physical and mental well-being. And I’m learning, even though I do have a child, that I have to take care of myself first before I can take care of them. In the past, I wasn’t good at that and am happy I have made great progress in this area.

Am I nervous about this surgery? A little, yes. Again, as I creep closer to being the same age my father died at, I say a little prayer that I will be around for awhile for the sake of my kiddo. But I also know deep inside that I have been through so many things and there is a deep knowing that I will be able to get through this too.